On the Lookout: July 2012

Well, blogging from Haiti can be VERY frustrating. On the second or third night we were there, I wrote out a long blog and posted some pictures. But after I hit the send button, it was clear that my post got lost in the oblivion of cyberspace. SO FRUSTRATING! So, I gave up. Now, after getting home from two weeks in Haiti (yes, an extra week got tacked on due to Kervens coming down with the chicken pox the day before my scheduled departure), I will try to document my time there...for Kervens' sake. I want him to know the details of how our family has fought for him, prayed for him, visited him, and loved him from a distance for sooo many months before getting to bring him home.

First of all, we still have no timeframe what-so-ever on bringing him home. Our dossier requires a presidential signature, and there is absolutely no guess as to when that signature will come. In the meantime, we have had this DNA test lingering now for seven months. The birthfather has been summoned to come to PAP for a DNA test, but he says that he has a new job that will not allow him to make the long journey again. I totally get that. The man is trying to provide for himself and keep a job in a place where it is sometimes impossible to find work.

So, while I was at the hotel, I made a phonecall to the U.S. Embassy and discussed what our options are for getting this DNA test squared away. Well, long story short, we found out that the DNA test is not necessarily a requirement. We might just get to bypass this step... which will be amazing! We are still waiting to hear the final verdict from an officer at the U.S. Embassy.

When we arrived at the PAP airport, our flight had been delayed and it was getting dark. Kervens was not there to greet us as usual. But Angie was gracious to call and request him to be sent over to the hotel. I could not wait through the night to see him, especially when my sister and two neices were there with me...ready to meet him for the first time. By the time Pierre brought him to the hotel, it was 9:00 PM. I knew Kervens would be tired and groggy, so I did not expect him to jump into my arms. Well, as Pierre walked up to the steps where we all stood, Kervens was a bit dazed and looking around with caution. As I walked into the light, he saw my face. He immediately lunged for me and grabbed my neck, squeezing it so tight! He did not let go for a long time. Michelle, Haley, and Hanna Ray got to touch him for the first time. It was precious.

As we went to get all of us settled in our hotel room, I brought out several of the same toys that I bring each time. I try to build some familiarity with bringing the same toys and books each time. It was so obvious that he remembered them. He was all smiles within just a few minutes. For being woken up from a deep sleep, thrown in a jeep in the dark, driven to a hotel, and given to someone he had not seen in four months, he was amazing!

He immediately went into Michelle's arms, which I was surprised to see. Usually, he has a hard time going to anyone else when I am around. He was resting in her arms, when I walked up. He took a good, long stare at Michelle, and then back at me....as if to say, "Hey, you look just like that other lady that I call mama." He seemed puzzled, but was content to stay with her. For the rest of the week, he showed definite signs of progressing in good, healthy attachment to me. But if I needed a break, he was happy and comfortable to go to Michelle. He also loves Shelley. He has been with her a couple of times on her trips to the orphanage, and he adores her. He would willingly to go her as well. What a gift that was!

The week continued with wonderful tasks our team accomplished at the orphanage. The Hilger High School team was amazing. I was so impressed with them. Mango Tango! Which is our code word to remind each other to be selfless.

As the week came to a close, I began to notice bumps on Kervens' head. I did not think anything of it, until the next day...they became little white heads. I quickly realized he had the chicken pox. I got on the phone with Eddy and the kids, and we discussed our options. I was anxious to get home to them, but I was feeling a strong pull to stay with Kervens and get him through this nasty virus. As we skyped, I explained to the kids what chicken pox is. Then I asked them if they thought I should stay with Kervens or come home. My sweet daughter, Kenzie (7), burst into tears and said, "I think you should stay with Kervens, but I just want you home!" At that point, I broke down into tears as well. Feeling a sense of loss no matter what I chose.

It was decided I would stay, and that Eddy would continue to hold down the fort with the kids for another week. I had a great sense of peace that next morning as I saw the team drive away. This was right. I needed to be here in Haiti, with THIS son.

The next week was surprisingly peaceful and fun. Aside from the first 24 hours of fever and lethargy, Kervens did not act much different. He did not even itch that often, despite the amount of pox he had on his head, neck, back and stomach. He had very few on his arms and legs. But he must have a pretty high pain tolerance. I mean, heck, he lives in a room with 15 other toddlers, who wouldn't develop a high pain tolerance?

Things at the orphanage looked good. There is always room for improvement, but for the most part, it is a place of joy and the children's basic needs being met.

When it came time to leave, I was peaceful that it was time to go. (Plus, the fact that Shelley would be there another 10 days certainly helped. Kervens adores her, and he would feel very special for another 10 days.) She and Kervens drove with me to the airport and waved good-bye happily as I walked into the airport. I always have an interpreter explain to him where I am going and why he cannot come. Who knows if it makes any difference in that little mind of his?... but it helps me, at least.

Here are some fun memories of our time together:
- meeting his aunt and cousins for the first time
- his fear of the water/pool just vanished, and he suddenly became a fish!
- his precious rendition of Jesus Loves Me This I Know, sung with GUSTO!
- learning the Itsy Bitsy Spider song, affectionately known to him as Issy Bissy Bissy Bissy
- watching him kick into the "show-off-ghetto-stud-mode" around his friends
- learning the Waves of Mercy song, which he picked up after just two or three rounds of singing (I think we may have a musical one on our hands)
- watching him chase a large lizard outside our hotel room and screaming, "Ale', Ale', Ale'!" Then screaming like a girl and running for his life when the thing started coming after him.
- sleeping next to him each night, and being slapped with any and every body part during the night
- holding him during his bad fever time
- taking naps each afternoon together
- skyping with Eddy and the kids and seeing Kervens smile brightly each time Eddy came on
- watching the nannies love on and adore Kervens with kisses while we were at the orphanage
- squeezing him tightly and saying, "I love you." Then being surprised by him returning the affection in the same way, saying, "I love you!"
- eating ramen noodles each night together
- seeing him wave good-bye to me with a smile on his face

He is ok. He is growing in wisdom, in stature, and in favor with God and man. That is all I can ask for in this less-than-perfect set up. Dear God, get this boy home.