On the Lookout: October 2012

We just got back from another trip to see Kervens. It was a really special trip as we were able to take Jackson with us this time! He was absolutely amazing from start to finish. I honestly had the following thoughts while down there with him, "Lord, do you have missions in mind for Jackson? Because he seems to be made for this kind of thing." He was completely joyful through the entire trip. We were three full days into our trip before he spoke his first word of complaint. He was gracious with the nannies as they hugged and kissed him. He courageously tried the food each day that was served to us. He took initiative with kids of all ages around the orphanage. He taught the older boys some serious video games. He brought me to tears a few times as I watched him from a distance. Stellar. He rose up from a boy to a young man in my book that week. Impressive.

Eddy, Jackson, and I went with a team of 12 people down to Maison to help out, build things, repair things, and hold babies. Of course, Kervens and I were inseparable, although he did stray away from me for just a bit when daddy brought out the wheel barrow! He had so much fun riding in it! Our team was amazing, and we got a ton accomplished (since that is what we Americans like to quantify on these short term missions trips, right?). =)

But let me just say, "I WANT KERVENS TO COME HOME!"

I am having a lot of what I affectionately call "bad Kervens days". The days when I feel like I can't breathe. The days when I can't stop crying. The days when I feel like a bad mom to the three beautiful faces standing right in front of me. The days when I feel like a bad wife because I am consumed with thoughts of getting my Haitian child home.

It. is. all. consuming. some. days.

But then those days pass. And for whatever reason, call it God's grace, I can breathe again. And I move on. I begin enjoying the three children in front of me. I can think about others. I can serve others. I can smile without it being a completely faked contortion of my face.

I know that once this chapter of the waiting journey is over, the new trials will inevitably begin. I say...

BRING THEM ON!

Our papers are stuck in Parquet. Don't know why. Did not expect them to stay in this stage for this long (of course). When will I just stop having expectations? You would think I would have learned by now.

We are waiting to get through Parquet so we can receive our adoption decree. This decree will give Kervens our last name and prepare his documents to go into MOI, then passports. Still a long way off it seems. My March-hopeful-timeframe is slowly slipping from my grasp.

Please Lord, do not let him spend another birthday in Haiti! May 9th he turns 4.