Sunday, February 19, 2012

Re-entry

Returning from Haiti is always interesting.  I respond to it in different ways each time.  I never know if it will be an emotional experience, or if I will feel a bit numb, or if I will feel helpless, or....

This time the tears flowed freely on the FIRST morning there.  I have never done that before.  Usually, I am emotional on the last day.  But this time...the first day.  The reason for this was due to the fact that I got to wake up with my boy.  I was the first person he saw as he woke up slowly...and as our eyes met, he ALWAYS gave me a shy smile.  It was as if he was saying, "It was not a dream.  I really am here with this person that keeps calling herself mama.  And I like it."

For me, it felt like we were family.  Really, truly, a family...maybe for the first time.  I mean, I feel like his mom.  But it FELT like we were a family.  Maybe because we were sleeping together in a hotel room.  I don't know.  But it was different and it brought emotions that I had not experienced on the first day.

Then, the last day.  OH, the dreaded last day.  I am always full of emotion on the last day.  I went out to the swings with Kervens, and as he sat there swinging, I LOST IT.  I mean, really lost it.  I was weeping.  The kind of weeping that is hard to catch your breath.  But then, in an instant, he was smiling at me and asking me to swing with him.  So, I jumped in the swing and started swinging next to him.

He was oblivious of my tears, which I am thankful.  And that is kind of how this journey has been.  Full of gut wrenching emotion.  Then, you have to take a deep breath and keep moving on.  Kervens is happy.   He is full of life.  He is growing in wisdom and in stature.  For that I am thankful to Maison.

No, his conditions are not ideal.  He needs to be in a family.  SOON!  But for now, he is ok.  How do I know?  Well, for the first time, when we got to the airport, I sat and explained where I was going and why he could not come. I have no idea what he can comprehend at the age of 2.  But it seemed to help.  He peacefully went into Angie's arms and blew me kisses.  No screaming, no clamoring for me.  He just smiled and waved good-bye to me.  It was SO NICE to NOT hear him screaming behind me as I walked through the security line at the airport.

He is ok.  And strangely, so am I.  This re-entry has been the easiest so far.  I know the Lord has a plan for Kervens, and I can't wait to see it unfold.

We did not find out anything new as far as our paperwork is concerned.  Our paperwork is still sitting in IBESR.  Until we get out of that court, we really don't have a time frame for Kervens coming home.

Our prayer is that the Lord will grant Maison favor in the eyes of the Haitian government.  We need an advocate on the inside.  We need someone who will get our paperwork through in a timely manner.  We need friends on the "inside" who respect Pierre and want to get the children in his orphanage home.

To that end, we pray.

Until then, we are grateful for the temporary family that brings life and smiles to this little boy's face.






Sunday, February 12, 2012

Our Sweet Boy

We are here in Haiti again, loving on our little guy, Kervens. It has been such a fun two days so far. Angie met us at the airport with Kervens on her hip. We walked down a long corridor to meet them at the van, and as I saw them ahead, I began to run. As I got closer to them, my heart was racing with excitement, yet I tried to contain myself so that I would not scare Kervens. I never know if he is going to remember me from 4 months ago. As I slowly approached, he began to lean way out to reach for me. I held him tightly as the Haitian crowd surrounding us smiled. I was not very aware of them because I was in complete bliss...holding my boy again.

He has grown so much! He is taller and bigger and heavier...and potty trained!! What?! Not even kidding. He tells me every single time he has to go. Not one accident yet. Unbelievable.

He is sleeping with us here at the hotel...a new experience for us as we usually stay in the tent at the orphanage. We absolutely LOVE it! We get to have some quiet time with Kervens, sleep with him, wake up to him, eat every meal with him, and swim with him. It has been so fun.

The team has been amazing! They are troopers. They have jumped in with their whole heart, and they are loving the nannies and the children well.

















- Posted by Carlee, using my iPad