Happy Easter

We had a wonderful Easter weekend with my parents.  They came into town to help us build a new swingset/playhouse.  Costco had a deal we could not pass up, and the kids are super excited about it.  Kenzie says she has always wanted to swing in her own yard.  Brooks says he wants to climb up the rock wall and slide down the slide.  Jackson says he wants to use it as an airsoft gun fort and hideout.  Whatever the function of the playhouse, we will all be forever grateful to Eddy and my dad (and Mark Ellis) for spending two entire days building it.

And we did something a bit different this year.   We have never been an Easter-bunny-brings-you-toys-and-candy kind of family.  But I do love giving gifts to our kids.  So, this year we decided to hold off on giving any gifts until after church.  So, when the kids woke up, there wasn't a focus on what they were getting.  They didn't come running down the stairs to see what they got.  They came down slowly, and we had meaningful conversations about Jesus dying.  Jesus raising from the dead.  Just Jesus.  Just the resurrection.  Just HIM.  It was really special.

On a more practical note, I also loved not having to decide how much candy to let my kids eat at 8 AM!

So, we worshipped as a family, then we came home and had lunch.  Then, we sent the kids on a scavenger hunt for their baskets and gifts.  And it is so fun to give them gifts just because we love them.  And we finished up our day with some easter egg hunting outside.  It could not have been a more beautiful day!

Celebrating our "Fresh Water"

B R O O K S... his name means fresh water.  And that is exactly what he is to our family.  When we all get stressed or upset with each other, he comes in, pouring the fresh water of his delightful, grateful, precious spirit over our souls.  If we get thirsty, we just get ourselves a little-bit-of-Brooks and we feel much better.  =)

Our FRESH WATER:

thanks me for wiping his bottom.

tells me I am the best mama ever.

shares graciously with his brother and sister (most of the time). =)

speaks expectantly of being a big brother to Kervens....telling me he can't wait to teach him this or that.

loves his daddy with a vengeance!

is passionate about baseball (thus, the baseball birthday below).

is pleasant almost all of the time!

is easy to correct and requires very little discipline.

is a gift to us!


We love you Brooks! Happy Birthday!

Baseball cake!

The Birthday Boy!

brothers....

Cousin Lacey (and, of course, Kenzie's new pet Sandy the Caterpillar)

The family photo... missing one little black face, though.  

GG and Jackson

Zac Efron? or Jackson?

Cousins Hanna Ray and Heather

A big hug for sister after he opened her gift

His first Phiten necklace!

I absolutely adore these boys!!!

This birthday was all about guns!

Cousin Lindsey

This year, we had our first annual family cup... in honor of the birthday boy.  His greatest desire was to play a real baseball game.  So, all grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts, siblings, and parents graciously obliged his dream.  We played three innings of "REAL" baseball.  Can you believe it?  Brooks hit four homeruns!!  He was also awarded the MVP trophy at the end of the game (compliments of one awesome thrift store).

He's got all the gear.  He is ready!

One of his many homeruns

He is NOT stopping!  No way!

Nice form on that swing!  No wonder they let him play t-ball a year early.  =)

First Annual Family Cup MVP!

Just a few hours later - crashed in my lap like the four year old that he is.
One of my favorite memories of the day!

I still love this man as much as I did the day we married.
Actually, I respect him even more now!

Later in the day, the grandchildren had a tickle-fest with Pop - B.  What a wonderful grandfather he is!

Aunt Michelle and cousin Hunter

Linnie and the girls!

Re-entry

Returning from Haiti is always interesting.  I respond to it in different ways each time.  I never know if it will be an emotional experience, or if I will feel a bit numb, or if I will feel helpless, or....

This time the tears flowed freely on the FIRST morning there.  I have never done that before.  Usually, I am emotional on the last day.  But this time...the first day.  The reason for this was due to the fact that I got to wake up with my boy.  I was the first person he saw as he woke up slowly...and as our eyes met, he ALWAYS gave me a shy smile.  It was as if he was saying, "It was not a dream.  I really am here with this person that keeps calling herself mama.  And I like it."

For me, it felt like we were family.  Really, truly, a family...maybe for the first time.  I mean, I feel like his mom.  But it FELT like we were a family.  Maybe because we were sleeping together in a hotel room.  I don't know.  But it was different and it brought emotions that I had not experienced on the first day.

Then, the last day.  OH, the dreaded last day.  I am always full of emotion on the last day.  I went out to the swings with Kervens, and as he sat there swinging, I LOST IT.  I mean, really lost it.  I was weeping.  The kind of weeping that is hard to catch your breath.  But then, in an instant, he was smiling at me and asking me to swing with him.  So, I jumped in the swing and started swinging next to him.

He was oblivious of my tears, which I am thankful.  And that is kind of how this journey has been.  Full of gut wrenching emotion.  Then, you have to take a deep breath and keep moving on.  Kervens is happy.   He is full of life.  He is growing in wisdom and in stature.  For that I am thankful to Maison.

No, his conditions are not ideal.  He needs to be in a family.  SOON!  But for now, he is ok.  How do I know?  Well, for the first time, when we got to the airport, I sat and explained where I was going and why he could not come. I have no idea what he can comprehend at the age of 2.  But it seemed to help.  He peacefully went into Angie's arms and blew me kisses.  No screaming, no clamoring for me.  He just smiled and waved good-bye to me.  It was SO NICE to NOT hear him screaming behind me as I walked through the security line at the airport.

He is ok.  And strangely, so am I.  This re-entry has been the easiest so far.  I know the Lord has a plan for Kervens, and I can't wait to see it unfold.

We did not find out anything new as far as our paperwork is concerned.  Our paperwork is still sitting in IBESR.  Until we get out of that court, we really don't have a time frame for Kervens coming home.

Our prayer is that the Lord will grant Maison favor in the eyes of the Haitian government.  We need an advocate on the inside.  We need someone who will get our paperwork through in a timely manner.  We need friends on the "inside" who respect Pierre and want to get the children in his orphanage home.

To that end, we pray.

Until then, we are grateful for the temporary family that brings life and smiles to this little boy's face.

Our Sweet Boy

We are here in Haiti again, loving on our little guy, Kervens. It has been such a fun two days so far. Angie met us at the airport with Kervens on her hip. We walked down a long corridor to meet them at the van, and as I saw them ahead, I began to run. As I got closer to them, my heart was racing with excitement, yet I tried to contain myself so that I would not scare Kervens. I never know if he is going to remember me from 4 months ago. As I slowly approached, he began to lean way out to reach for me. I held him tightly as the Haitian crowd surrounding us smiled. I was not very aware of them because I was in complete bliss...holding my boy again.

He has grown so much! He is taller and bigger and heavier...and potty trained!! What?! Not even kidding. He tells me every single time he has to go. Not one accident yet. Unbelievable.

He is sleeping with us here at the hotel...a new experience for us as we usually stay in the tent at the orphanage. We absolutely LOVE it! We get to have some quiet time with Kervens, sleep with him, wake up to him, eat every meal with him, and swim with him. It has been so fun.

The team has been amazing! They are troopers. They have jumped in with their whole heart, and they are loving the nannies and the children well.

















- Posted by Carlee, using my iPad

I.B.E.S.R.

Those five simple letters have been looming now for 5 months.  Yes, five months ago we thought our dossier (our huge packet of adoption paperwork) would be entering IBESR.  For those that don't know, IBESR is truly the beginning of the Haitian process.  Your documents go in there to get approval.  Which, prior to the earthquake, this was the place that was known for holding up an adoption, with no mercy.  Dossiers would sit in there, get lost in there, for years.  LITERALLY.

But supposedly, since the earthquake, IBESR has gotten a bit more efficient.  And documents are actually getting approved and sent on within months.  It is a complete unknown how long it will take our dossier to get out of there.  Every little step is a celebration.  A roller coaster, really.  You get (very briefly) excited about entering IBESR, then you immediately begin thinking about the long wait ahead.  Who knows when we will come out of IBESR.  But for now, we are just glad to be in there.

Once we come out of IBESR, then we will have many more processes to go through in the Haitian courts. Many more months of stamping and legalizing documents, but at least the rest of the process is a BIT more predictable.  Still many more months of waiting, though.

My best friend, Shelley, who loves Kervens almost as much as we do, is heading to Maison in four days.  She gets to hold him, kiss him, bring him gifts for Christmas, take pics, shoot some videos, and be our hugging arms.  What a blessing that she is going to love on him.  It helps my heart....a little.

Kervens Update

Here is the latest update on Kervens. We have been waiting for months now for his birthfather to come into the US Embassy and sign some paperwork and answer some questions.  He did not show up for the first meeting, so they had to reschedule.  Well, his appointment was today and he DID show up.  He was late, and the orphanage adoption handler (Angie) was afraid they would not let him in, which would have been disastrous!  However, they did allow him to go in later in the day and get the paperwork signed.  Which is cause for a big celebration!

But... of course there is a BIG B.U.T.

But, as is some rare cases, the Embassy will decide they need more proof that this man is who he says he is...and that he is truly the father of this child he is signing for.  And of course, that would be our case.  RARE indeed.  So, this means his birthfather must come in YET AGAIN for a DNA test.  And unfortunately, DNA tests over in Haiti can be pretty bogus.  Meaning, they can come back false negative many times.  We have no idea what this really means for us and for Kervens.  Obviously, it means more time that he must spend in Haiti...apart from us.

And just when I want to throw my hands up and scream, "Forget it!  I am out Lord!  I can't do this any more!"  I hear the Lord reminding me, "I asked you to fight for this child.  THIS child.  For a reason.  This is all a lot bigger than just Kervens getting to YOUR house.  Do you not trust me to take care of him over there?  I am in control, Carlee.  I AM."

I am trying to trust, but this is so dang hard.  I remember a quote from Mary Beth Chapman's book Choosing To See that said, "He has asked us to do hard."  Well, I can relate to that.  He has asked me to do hard.  (Although I am not saying that my situation is NEARLY as hard as hers - your adopted 6 year old child getting run over and killed by your older son.)

But no doubt, this is H.A.R.D.  We know this boy.  We love this boy.  He knows us.  He lights up with joy around us.  Every day hurts.  Some days more than others.  This happens to be a particularly painful one.

When I think of the MINIMUM of a YEAR timeframe that we have left to get Kervens, I just shake my head in disbelief.  I really don't think I can do this.  But then again, He must think I can.