Not the blog I was hoping to post...

Well, unbelievably, I managed to delete the entire post I just wrote. I have so much to tell. So, I will tell it again. Uugh.
On Friday as I was preparing to leave, eddy and I got the phone call we both dreaded. You remember that signature from Kervens' father that we were waiting on and praying for? Well, Kim Harmon, the President of For His Glory Outreach, called to tell us that Kervens' father is refusing to sign the papers and he wants to come get him. We were devastated! Eddy and I cried. Jackson and Kenzie cried. I felt like the ground beneath me was shaking and I could not breathe. Honestly, I did not know what to think or what to feel. I mean, we only spent four days with him. But all the confirmations, all the signs, all the answered prayers...and now the rug is pulled out from under us? We knew we were taking a risk by pursuing an adoption of a child that was not officially paper ready yet. We tried to guard our heart, but we did not do such a great job of that.
So, eddy and I began the discussion of whether or not I would still go on the trip. Kim said the father would be there any day to pick him up. Maybe he will already be gone when I get there or maybe he would come while I am there. She also prepared me for a heart wrenching scene when the father did come. She said it could be more than I could handle. As eddy and I talked, all I kept hearing in my heart was this, "You are called to love and visit orphans, not just when you get to adopt the cutest one of the bunch." Eddy and I both agreed I should still go, no matter what I encountered.
So, though I cried through much of the flight, we landed safely and were greeted by Angie, the missionary here at the orphanage. She promptly told me that Kervens had not been picked up yet, and that it would be his mom that was supposed to come and get him. So, I tried to guard my heart when we got to the orphanage and keep my distance, but that little guy just stole my mom's heart right from the start. When we both saw him, we wept together. She brought him to me and I held him and cried.
Then, after about 15 minutes, Angie came and asked if she could speak with me in the office. She shared with me that Kervens' mom had just called to say that she will not come get him. You see, she is a 20 year old girl who lives in city soleil, ranked as one of the most dangerous places on earth and only a few miles from the orphanage. Literally. She shared that she could not give him safety or provide for him. She also said that if Kervens' father comes to pick him up, then all he would do is bring him to her to raise. They do not live together, and he says he cannot take care of his son. But he does not want him to be adopted.
So, both are unwilling to come get him. In the meantime, he has spent every waking moment with me or my mom. His little personality is really coming out and it is so fun to see. We are snuggling in the tent as I type. So much for guarding my heart, huh?
I have never experienced such spiritual warfare in my life. There is a battle raging for this child's soul. For all of these children here at the orphanage. Will you please pray? Everyone i have spoken with about Kervens here at the orphanage has told me to pray that the father will let him go because he cannot take care of him. It would be a very bad thing for him to come get him. I am hoping for a miracle.
I am physically still struggling with a horrible cough. I am emotionally exhausted. And I barely slept last night. So, I am going to go to bed. I hope to have the strength to post some pics tomorrow.

- Posted by Carlee, using my iPad