Haiti Here We Come

Only 11 more days until I get to see Kervens! I absolutely can't wait to hold that little fella. It seems like it has been a lot longer than four months since I saw him last. I have no idea what to expect. I am a bit scared:

Scared that we won't bond all that well.
Scared that we will bond terribly well.
Scared of the day I have to leave.
Scared to stay there any longer.
Scared of getting sick.
Scared of being hot.
Scared of my emotions.
Scared of not having enough emotion.

I know, I know, God did not give us a spirit of fear. He already knows what the week in Haiti is going to be like, feel like, look like. He's got me. And He better, cuz I just about died from emotion last time and I wasn't even sure that we were going to adopt Kervens. Now we are sure - can you imagine what kinds of emotion i am going to experience this time? Uugh!

And that is what is so weird to me. You mean I am SUPPOSED to live with this cloud hanging over me for the next year, or two, or three? Seriously?

But I would not wish the cloud away. It has drawn me closer to my Lord. It has drawn me closer to my hubby. And honestly, I will endure any amount of time with a cloud that follows me if it means that I get to embrace our little boy on U.S. soil someday. Oh what a day that will be!

So, I will get on with my packing and collecting and organizing a "gazillion" clothes and shoes to take to the orphans. Because all I know, at least for today, is that I am being asked to go.

- Posted by Carlee, using my iPad