Re-entry

Returning from Haiti is always interesting.  I respond to it in different ways each time.  I never know if it will be an emotional experience, or if I will feel a bit numb, or if I will feel helpless, or....

This time the tears flowed freely on the FIRST morning there.  I have never done that before.  Usually, I am emotional on the last day.  But this time...the first day.  The reason for this was due to the fact that I got to wake up with my boy.  I was the first person he saw as he woke up slowly...and as our eyes met, he ALWAYS gave me a shy smile.  It was as if he was saying, "It was not a dream.  I really am here with this person that keeps calling herself mama.  And I like it."

For me, it felt like we were family.  Really, truly, a family...maybe for the first time.  I mean, I feel like his mom.  But it FELT like we were a family.  Maybe because we were sleeping together in a hotel room.  I don't know.  But it was different and it brought emotions that I had not experienced on the first day.

Then, the last day.  OH, the dreaded last day.  I am always full of emotion on the last day.  I went out to the swings with Kervens, and as he sat there swinging, I LOST IT.  I mean, really lost it.  I was weeping.  The kind of weeping that is hard to catch your breath.  But then, in an instant, he was smiling at me and asking me to swing with him.  So, I jumped in the swing and started swinging next to him.

He was oblivious of my tears, which I am thankful.  And that is kind of how this journey has been.  Full of gut wrenching emotion.  Then, you have to take a deep breath and keep moving on.  Kervens is happy.   He is full of life.  He is growing in wisdom and in stature.  For that I am thankful to Maison.

No, his conditions are not ideal.  He needs to be in a family.  SOON!  But for now, he is ok.  How do I know?  Well, for the first time, when we got to the airport, I sat and explained where I was going and why he could not come. I have no idea what he can comprehend at the age of 2.  But it seemed to help.  He peacefully went into Angie's arms and blew me kisses.  No screaming, no clamoring for me.  He just smiled and waved good-bye to me.  It was SO NICE to NOT hear him screaming behind me as I walked through the security line at the airport.

He is ok.  And strangely, so am I.  This re-entry has been the easiest so far.  I know the Lord has a plan for Kervens, and I can't wait to see it unfold.

We did not find out anything new as far as our paperwork is concerned.  Our paperwork is still sitting in IBESR.  Until we get out of that court, we really don't have a time frame for Kervens coming home.

Our prayer is that the Lord will grant Maison favor in the eyes of the Haitian government.  We need an advocate on the inside.  We need someone who will get our paperwork through in a timely manner.  We need friends on the "inside" who respect Pierre and want to get the children in his orphanage home.

To that end, we pray.

Until then, we are grateful for the temporary family that brings life and smiles to this little boy's face.